something really shitty happened last night & i barely slept. a guy broke into our car while we were eating at a restaurant. we went to an anime convention because my uncle sells art. all of his work was in the car along with a case of money. not only that, but my best friends purse was stolen. nothing of hers was in it except for airpods. but, my wallet was in it. so my debit card & id got stolen. so yeah, last night has been rough. i have a flight to catch tomorrow but i have no form of id & idk what to do.. all i have is the incident number from the police & the police report. oh, and they took 3 hours to arrive. fun night.
Someone just told me no.
Which offended me at first, but it's mostly true.
I always keep up a distance, a layer between parts of me and my surroundings. Even when I take into account the idea of oneness, I always see it a general truth, but it's not a good feeling to see myself as certain people, who behaves in a toxic, manipulative or aggressive ways. I don't want to see myself as that energy. So then, yes, I'm keeping a part of my Self hidden away, not truly and fully and entirely being here. Maybe momentarily, when I'm physically hidden away from these energies. Which is what I've been trying to do, surround myself with positivity, doing what I like, so I can get more secure in being. But is that really touching the world with my entire being, fully being here? What are these projections I don't want to see as a part of my Self? My creations or distractions? .
I don't have an answer, I'm just throwing questions out there, because it got me thinking 💖
free will ≠ freedom of choice. i think there's a false sense of security in thinking we all have free will but if you think about it, how we act is based on the choices that we have, and the choices we have are based on our circumstances. if you're born poor, you don't have the "free will" to buy yourself a Ferrari, you only have the choice to work hard to better your life, do nothing or wallow in self-pity. if you're born with a physical disability, you don't have the "free will" to move about or travel about as you like. even when it comes to more sensitive topics like religion, you may think you have the "free will" to choose your faith but the fact is your choices are limited to what you know - if you don't know anything about a particular religion, what are the chances you'd subscribe to it? yes, you have the freedom to believe in something or not, but to call that "free will" is to assume you have all the knowledge in the world and no predispositions whatsoever
just some food for thought
Don't be selfish. If you don't love the way her hair curls at the ends or her nose wrinkles when she laughs then let her go. If you don't see her as a fucking masterpiece then let her go, because someone else will. Don't be selfish. .
If you don't love the way she sneezes or or the way she dribbles the toothpaste down her chin when she brushes her teeth then let her go. if your heart doesn't almost beat out of your chest when you wake up and the first thing you see is her soundly sleeping on your shoulder. .
Someone else would kill for that. Being with someone when you know you don't love them is cruel. Its not only cruel its holding them back from someone that could give them everything. Someone that feels waves braking in their ribcage when they see her walk around the corner. .
Someone that has had the worst of days, but rainbows suddenly appear at the thought of her. Someone who hears the sound of her voice and it soothes the darkest of nightmares. If that is not you, let her go. She is wonder, she is magic, she deserves someone who believes that every single day, not just on certain.