Forgive him (part 1)
It happened. What I was so afraid of from the beginning suddenly occurred. I rolled down, into the darkness, into the backwoods all by myself. It was scary. I'm not used to being alone. I couldn't imagine him not being around anymore. His touches, his encouraging smile, his embrace as things went to hell, his calls, his voice. Sitting on the bottom in the ominous darkness, and shedding tears, I stayed there. It was a place for me – a darkness in which no one would get to me. I saw the hands of people trying to get me out of there, but I closed my eyes so I couldn't have a chance to escape.
To my right, I saw a ball of weak light coming from behind the door. A girl left the nearest room and walked past me with a faint smile on her face. Trying to replicate the same facial expression, I felt the pain. Why am I lying to myself? Nothing will ever be the same! But I wanted to be with her. I wanted to steal her light and run away.
- What did you do? - I asked her in bewilderment.
- I just forgave him!
Jumping up, I went to the mysterious room hoping to find him, to tell him how angry I am at him for the pain he had caused me, for the way he had treated me but when I went inside, I saw nothing but my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't happy about the view. I looked like one of the dolls I used to play with as a child. I was wearing a nice dress, my hair was combed but my eyes were just as glassy.